Here is the revised version of my venture concept:
Gainesville, Florida has the 4th largest financial equity gap in the nation. This is bad, but it gets much worse when you realize that the United states as the 9th largest financial equity gap in the world. Gainesville is small enough to where you, and individual, can make an impact and big enough to where your impact actually matters. So, Gainesville seems like the proper place to begin this venture if any. A venture to help make the odds of success more equal: a mentorship venture which will be called "Mentorship in Motion". The window for this opportunity is massive. There are people all over the city who have been waiting for the right moment to improve their lives and pick up the pieces.
Although I have already explained a few reasons why there is an opportunity "Mentorship with Motion", allow me to delve into more detail. Gainesville’s economy has improved substantially when looking at it from afar in the last century because of the University of Florida. But the problem with this is that you are looking from afar. The University of Florida is a land tax exempt institution like all public universities. It also doesn’t pay a PILOT tax. It also gets electricity from Duke Energy rather than the local Utility, GRU. Because of this, the University of Florida gives very little money back to the city, GRU rates are very high, and the city doesn’t have enough resources to give back to the community. There are many people east of 13th street who have just never seen the west side of town. They live paycheck to paycheck if they are so lucky to receive a paycheck. Many of them resort to taking drugs or settling in a less than adequate life because they believe they are destined for a life of lower quality. My venture will be created to give these people more of an opportunity. My venture will allow these people to realize that they have more opportunities than previously imagined. It will encourage some to go to a community college, and others to be trained for well-payed blue collared work such as electricians, linemen, and plumbers.
Allow me to talk about money. If my target audience are people who cannot afford luxuries, how are they going to afford the luxury of being mentored? Well, if they are tax paying citizens, that is how they are paying for this service. If they are not tax paying citizens, then other people are paying for their service. This organization will be government funded and donation based. Being that we are attempting to give a lot to the community, we will also be tabling and putting on events in places like depot park, bo didley, first magnitude, and more. These will be areas that we will get funds to allow this program to thrive. Next, allow me to talk about this innovation. The reason that this is an innovation is because it continues to replenish itself. Alcoholics Anonymous is an organization that allows alcoholics to be surrounded by people like them and be helped by people who have gone through similar situations. That will be true with my organization as well. I will create a culture within this organization that encourages people to just give back once they feel that the organization has given a lot to them. People will tell their stories and lift each other up. Although there will be professionals working as volunteers, there will also be people who have gone through hell and back to change their lives. I will also be connected to a variety of different of organizations: a coalition of organizations if you will. That way, if people feel they aren’t getting enough out of "Mentorship in Motion", they can join a different organization that may attempt to improve their situation from a different perspective. Government funding, along with donations from the people around Gainesville who hear about us during events or through tabling will certainly be enough for funding.
There are many organizations who attempt to accomplish what I am trying to accomplish with this one. LEEP, reading pals, and the Reichert House Youth Academy are all organizations with the same goals as the one I am suggesting. That is why a coalition is necessary. A coalition will take away the competitive nature of these organizations and will bring in a feeling of community. If these organizations were to merge, then they could give tips to each other as well as give the clients that they are working with other opportunities. It isn’t that these mentorship opportunities aren’t enough for the people in Gainesville. But different people learn in different ways and need different perspectives. The truth of the matter is that although Gainesville’s situation is improving, there is still indeed a problem that is easy to see from afar.
There are many resources I have to help me with this opportunity, but I believe the most important one is my network. I know many people in Gainesville who would help me bring my idea to fruition and even volunteer for the organization regularly. It isn’t only about what you know. It is about who you know. After this organization takes off, I want to look into ways to solve problems across a bigger land mass, maybe Florida, maybe somewhere abroad. I want to be able to have the biggest impact possible.
Unfortunately, there are many problems in this city that have yet to be fixed. But with the help of people across the city, we might be able to make a different. Because although there is a financial equity gap in Gainesville, you will almost never meet someone who isn’t concerned about this problem. Gainesville cares. And we will change this city for the better with "Mentorship in Motion".
2.
I will start by saying that I had no comments on my last Venture Concept.
HOWEVER, since I didn't have any comments, I asked my roommate to provide feedback. My roommate happens to also be taking this class, so he knew what he was looking for. He also has more of a business-like mind that I do. So he told me that I needed to include my venture name in this description. I felt idiotic that I didn't include it in the first draft.
He also told me to give more of a pitch. He told me to go more into detail about why Gainesville needs this and how it will be funded. He told me that although it is a nonprofit, it still needs to be funded somehow.
3. I decided to put in the new name "Mentorship in Motion" (Inspiring, simple, and an alliteration) throughout the text so people would remember it.
I also expanded more in the 3rd paragraph. I added to the end of it and made a few edits in the middle of it to sound like it was more of a business pitch. I was talking about money, which is how this society is run. And I am trying to sell the idea of a nonprofit. That is very hard to do, so I believe spending more time on this paragraph was the right thing to do.
4. This program specifically targets Gainesville, so I included a picture that every acr will know.
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